Wednesday, January 18, 2012

THIS IS SPINAL TAP: ...but MUST it be???

This is Spinal Tap
Directed by Rob Reiner
Starring Rob Reiner, Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer
Written by Guest, McKean, Shearer and Reiner
82 minutes
Rated R


AaaaarrrgggGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. I get so sick of seeing this thing being proclaimed "the funniest rock movie ever made" when it is anything but. But what was really the last straw for me was when around 2005 a popular rock magazine, I forget which one, actually had the nerve to rate this as the Number One rock movie EVER made as opposed to the vastly superior Beatle classic A Hard Day's Night!

Easily one of the most overrated bits of trash I've ever seen, This is Spinal Tap is a mockumentary documenting a fake band called Spinal Tap, and that's pretty much the entire plot. And after hearing for years how great this movie supposedly was, I decided to check it out around 1999 or so, and I have no desire to ever do so again.

You've heard all the gushiness over this movie. It's SO real-looking, the press claims. It's SO convincing. It's SO remarkable that you'll be sitting there trying to figure out whether it's real or not. The actors' accents sound SO realistic. It's SO hilarious. And, they even say, the big irony is that the terrible music in this movie that's performed is nowhere near as terrible as it's supposed to be, so much so that it's been a popular soundtrack for years now.

Lies. All lies.

I hated this movie horribly when I saw it, and actually asked for my money back when I took it back to the rental store. I hated it, I hated it terribly, horribly, immensely, hideously. Hated it. Hated every single dumb, stupid, lousy, unfunny, boring, pretentious, overrated moment of it. Hated the press for lavishing so much undeserved praise upon it. Hated the fact that it's still in print. If I could, I would blow it to smithereens and blast the smithereens in a rock off into the farthest reaches of space. Seriously, as I write this I am also simultaneously preparing a running commentary of Spice World, and it's unbelieveable that I'm actually have a lot more fun watching and reviewing that little bit of pop trash than I could ever enjoy this... THING.

How could anyone ever praise this thing? How? I ask you, how? It's, it's just... so... worthlessly... oh forget it. Let me just say, this is one of those many examples when you realize after seeing it that just because the press proclaims something is great doesn't necessarily mean that it is (Pixar, anyone?). Even this amount of a review on it is far more than this stupid thing deserves.

I can't even talk about it anymore, it's too depressing.

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